glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
