Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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