I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
