Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I want a musical about memes.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
