today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
