His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
