I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
