Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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