Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
