he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
