he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
