Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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