____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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