happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
