is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
