I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
