Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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