He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
