So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
