All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
