my mouth tastes like poor choices
Can Purell be used as lube?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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