Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
there is puke in my bra ... again
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
