just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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