He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
