For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you mean i was at the winter classic?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
