I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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