those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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