I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
