If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
