I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
