1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
