I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Your dad touched me again.
the condom got lost in my hair
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize