It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
