So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
