playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
