just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
