I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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