Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
