he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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