He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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