I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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