Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
