and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
