Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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