...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
