So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
