So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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