Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
