Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
