im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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