Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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