I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
