how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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