I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
