Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
