Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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