We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize