she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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