Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize