So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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