the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
