Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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