just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
