Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i think my tv is drunk
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
