i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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