WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
