garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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