Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize