i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
