I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
